Finding Success Through Frustration

Our clinics may be different from other clinics that you have experienced. Because our focus is on developing your horsemanship on three different levels (3-D Rider™) – ground training, equitation and training under saddle – you probably experience more stress at our clinics than you do at others. We believe that you need to stress yourself on all levels – physical, mental and emotional – in order to experience the deepest growth as a person or as a horseman. We hope the stress you experience at a clinic transfers to your growth in all realms.

All horse trainers feel frustration at one time or another. When you are working with another mind, as we are when we’re working with a horse, we have to be aware that frustration will happen. The horse has its own agenda and also feels its own sense of frustration when it can’t understand us. We don’t want to prevent frustration because frustration handled properly promotes growth. So how do we positively handle our frustration and our horse’s frustration?

The first thing is to recognize when you’re frustrated and be honest about acknowledging it. You can actually be happy about experiencing frustration because it is the first step toward growth and improvement. Recognize that frustration is a symptom of feeling out of control. Don’t dwell on the frustration, but acknowledge the feeling and move directly to a plan for solving the problem. Remember to ask the four “core” questions: Does the horse know? Is the horse afraid? Does the horse have too much energy? Is the horse being disrespectful? Go back in your training to where you feel successful and in control with your horse. Find something your horse will do and go overboard with recovery and praise. Remember the “Caught Ya!” principle, and go out of your way to “catch” your horse doing something well.

Praising and giving our horse recovery time will help us as well as the horse, as it puts us in a positive frame of mind and also gives us recovery. When we become frustrated, we are caught up in the emotions of the moment, such as feelings of failure or embarrassment. At this moment, we need to realize that it’s not about us, it’s about the horse. We need to separate ourselves from those emotions and respond oppositely of the way we feel. We need to discipline ourselves to feel empathy for the horse and respond in the way that the horse needs us to at that moment.

As trainers, we also have to be able to separate ourselves from our horse and realize that the horse is not always a reflection of us, or vice versa. Every horse makes mistakes, and we will not be judged so much by the mistakes made as by the way that we handle those mistakes and the way we handle ourselves in adversity.

The second thing is to realize that preparation combats frustration. Set yourself and your horse up for success by spending the time it takes to get your horse trained at home before taking it to a clinic or somewhere new. Taking our horse to a clinic can be an eye-opener and show us where we really are in our training. No matter how solid our horse is at home, taking it somewhere new will show the holes we have in our training. Be honest with yourself in terms of how much work you’ve put into you and your horse’s success. It takes a ton of time and consistency to get a horse really broke, so be honest about where you are, and don’t expect to reap more than you have sown.

Finally, we must realize that knowledge is the key to working through frustration. Knowing what color our horse is, what color we are, and how we can best work with our horse’s personality will help reduce frustration. We also must have an understanding and acceptance of the amount of time it takes to train a horse and how long it takes to gain the skills necessary to become a good horseperson. Frustration can cause us to skip steps in our learning, or in our horse’s learning, and we’ll eventually pay for those holes in our knowledge base.

Physical ability must also be taken into consideration. It can be very frustrating to run into road blocks in our training and development caused by lack of physical ability in either ourselves or our horses. We must know that the horse has the physical agility, strength, stamina, and confirmation to perform a task before we ask for it. And, we must be willing to develop our own physical abilities.

Going to a clinic takes a lot of courage. You’re putting yourself out there and exposing yourself to new things. You will experience a gamut of emotions – frustration, success, embarrassment, exhilaration, exhaustion, and pride – just to name a few. But, you will also experience a kind of growth and fulfillment that you can never reach without having the courage to do something new. Before a clinic, make the commitment to arm yourself with knowledge, skills and the physical ability to accomplish your goals. The rewards you gain in return will be huge.